stolid olive

sch0olstinks @ 2009-12-22T00:25:00

2009-12-22T06:25:28Z

has forgotten what it feels like to feel at peace.

sch0olstinks @ 2009-12-05T02:22:00

2009-12-05T08:22:05Z

hate hate hate face book with a passion.

sch0olstinks @ 2009-11-23T22:53:00

2009-11-24T04:53:27Z

how can you even have a bad day? everything's always going your way. stupid. day.

sch0olstinks @ 2009-11-23T22:48:00

2009-11-24T04:47:41Z

feeling a bit rejected. and....

sch0olstinks @ 2009-11-07T10:04:00

2009-11-07T16:05:03Z

i get bummed out really easily.

sch0olstinks @ 2009-11-04T23:14:00

2009-11-05T05:14:29Z

contemplating... and dreaming. a. get thurs. morning shift picked up at the resaurant. b. skip thurs. night class c. drive to denton d. treat old roomies to dinner in exchange for shelter e. haily's. f. keller fri morn/afternoon building forts with lily g. nap h. drive back home. i could still make my 10 o'clock sat. morn shift at the library... i think..

sch0olstinks @ 2009-10-16T04:42:00

2009-10-16T09:43:05Z

5 years and i'm still crying over it...

sch0olstinks @ 2009-09-28T12:13:00

2009-09-28T17:15:30Z

something good (like me finding an awesome, well paying job) needs to happen today, but i doubt it will.

sch0olstinks @ 2009-09-27T21:50:00

2009-09-28T03:00:15Z

i digress. i called three people today.. "baby". baby... sometimes it means nothing. i call people i work with baby. but it has differnet levels. and i know it's dumb. and i also know it's safe to say cause no one comes to live journal anymore. not that a lot of people i knew ever did. but anyways. baby. just wierd. sometimes i dont mean it. sometimes, i like being called it. but you can never tell. what's THEIR level. why they callin' ME baby..

just had a huge veggie quesadilla and feel like passing out. wish i had more alcohol. and my own place. wish...

sch0olstinks @ 2009-09-01T00:17:00

2009-09-01T05:18:21Z

new mp3 player, new gym, new gym buddy!, new classes, and mi querido made for a pretty good day.

sch0olstinks @ 2009-08-07T23:50:00

2009-08-08T04:55:21Z

baby, i'm a loser. you can still back out. that's what i feel like telling him. ha. it's not my fault that i can't provide hours of conversation. ha. why am i so awkward?

sch0olstinks @ 2009-07-30T01:47:00

2009-07-30T07:09:01Z

i'm happy for everyone, but its hard. its hard seeing pictures of carl and sophie in thier cute little house. its hard hanging out with aissa and jaime at THEIR house. its hard to hear your ex-boyfriend is dating some really hot, thin, (and short!) girl with tatoos and plugs who's into recording. but i'm happy for all of you, none-the-less.

things are going well at pan am. only taking one class and probably taking out a small loan to do it, but oh well. no me dieron nada el financial aid. the studio is nothing like U.N.T but i am making the most of it, and being... *trying, to stay productive.

the job i have at s.t.c. will not pay the bills and i will probably have to wait tables again once my schedule becomes a little more stable, er... once i get comfortable with my boss to ask for "mornings only". i am too new to ask for that now..

i am currently "talking" to someone, i guess. it's been so long i don't know what to call it. but he makes me smile at the send of a text and makes for a great beach partner. he also sent me all 5 seasons of entourage. ha. nice.

talked to jules late tonight, which is why i am up. our conversation was sweet and my mind is at ease. i only want him to be happy, and i know he wishes the same for me. it actually went over really well. i guess i was reading too much into having feelings for someone else. what a coincidence that he finds someone right at the same time. i think it's fate. fate letting me go. and i'm happy. she will deal much better with late night recordings than i ever would. i hope it works out.

as for me, i can not WAIT to be rolling in the waves at south padre. life is good.

sch0olstinks @ 2009-03-23T19:37:00

2009-03-24T00:45:55Z

today's been really wierd. constant ups and downs. more downs than ups. dont know what to do.

sch0olstinks @ 2009-03-01T21:20:00

2009-03-02T03:20:18Z

mixed tape. go.

B.F.A. Show

2008-12-18T16:38:03Z

http://www.flickr.com/photos/12157167@N05/

sch0olstinks @ 2008-11-10T09:43:00

2008-11-10T15:51:14Z

November is a hectic hectic month. Lectures, fucking papers, extra credit, critiques, but oh well. December 2nd, it'll all be over, well, almost over. I'll still have finals but December 2nd will be sweet. Because my third paper for the month will be turned in, it's pint night at lous (where people can order draft beers and get a free ceramic mug of thier choice made by the clay guild), AND my Bachelor of Fine Arts Exhibition will be going on at Banter!!! Its a cute little wine-beer-deli-shop-type place right off the square and I absolutely cant wait. cant wait!! tons of pics coming soon. BTW does anybody out there know how to recover lost photos from an SD card? I "lost" a shitload of pics..

sch0olstinks @ 2008-10-24T14:49:00

2008-10-24T19:50:22Z

last thing i wanna do right now is get dressed for work...

sch0olstinks @ 2008-09-11T20:06:00

2008-09-12T01:32:38Z

a maymester studio ceramics class called, "bigger is better", my very first weaving course, a small loan, and a kitty = best. summer. ever.

sat. will be the first firing of the semester. i will be entering a show if one of my pieces comes out well. new soda kiln. if i had'nt have been so fucking shy, i could've helped build it, but i thought i'de be annoying if i was just hanging around. i dont know.. anyways, i'm firing it on sat. on monday, i will be taking off to waco for a workshop with john tilton and blair meerfeld. i love blair's work and i can't believe this workshop is free. fuck. yeah.

finally learned (kind of) how to use the "slide" room where you take pictures of your work. my pictures dont look as good as everyone elses.... WTF! then again, i am learning all by my fucking self how to shoot photos and it was my very first time, so yeah.

also learned to finally use the fucking sprayer for my glazes. why i took so long to learn all this shit is ridiculous. RIDICULOUS. but whatever. es mi culpa. my professor says i've got a long way to go and don't i know it. and i've got three months to get there? i dont think so... someone will accept me to grad school won't they? WONT THEY? dont they need mexicans in grad school?

sch0olstinks @ 2008-07-31T15:15:00

2008-07-31T20:15:24Z

5 new earrings! check 'em out.
http://www.etsy.com/your_shop.php

sch0olstinks @ 2008-07-28T12:09:00

2008-07-28T17:10:47Z

i do not need to be going to etsy!!! ah, so many cute little thing-a-ma-jigs. today, i think i'm gonna try to make stud earrings instead of plugs. cause they not be selling yo!

sch0olstinks @ 2008-07-16T23:27:00

2008-07-17T04:28:26Z

eh, my roomates are back from germany.

sch0olstinks @ 2008-07-11T03:00:00

2008-07-11T08:47:00Z

tonight was a strange night. i have to be up in a couple of hours, but i feel if i dont write now, i'll forget what i was feeling, like a dream, which i've been having a lot of lately. strange ones. anyways, i've been trying not to go out lately on account of my new job at school which i have to be at at eight every morning. but thursdays are my weakness. for some strange reason. my old boss called me up. we have a wierd history. an expensive history. but a history that keeps up binded none the less. anyways, he called, and was in town, so i went out. then off to the tavern, and i'm drinking singles instead of doubles. yay, i might be able to drive my own car home... which i did.

so i'm taking it slow, and end up at haily's. i was planning on going there anyways, but kyle called saying it was his "last thursday" in denton, so i went. who knows if its true, i dont care. he said, dont worry, i'll protect you from ali tonight, and he did, and it was funny. ali and i danced before the night was over though, and i pushed him away, and said, i need to get going, and just went to go find kyle. he was with friends, aka, an ex girlfriend, whom i just find wierd hanging out with. kyle thinks this is perfectly fine. but oh well, i was awkwark as always, and i couldnt help it. for a while, i danced with a friend of julio's! and that was fun. cause he was a stranger, and i was just having fun. and i didnt have a drink there! and felt pretty sober.

i walked out of haily's and a guy walked out at the same time, we made small talk on the way to my car and it ended up with us drinking a beer that he had "snuck out" of haily's. "nice", i said. and we drank it on the steps of the denton court house. it was actually quite enjoyable.

i had a point, i think.... i think i actually told ali to leave me alone tonight.
so what if it was all in text? i actually told him what was on my mind. (in my own typical passive-aggresive way of coarse...) he texts, "where are you?"

i dont answer.

"can i come?" he texts. and i'm like, what the FUCK.
he does this every thursday.
6 weeks, i dont go out because of this guy.
6 weeks, i stay indoors.
NO. NO YOU CANT FUCKING "COME OVER".

i say, "no, i'm sorry."
why i apologize, i dont know.

he texts, "come on!"

now i'm angry...

but i say once more, "no, i'm sorry."

THEN, next text, "you're too good for anyone but me!"

seriously? i didnt know how to answer that one. first reaction, was, exactly that.... what?
second reaction? get over yourself.

next text, "i like you so much, try me a differnet time, i'm different every time!"

like THATS gonna change my mind!!!! youre the fucking same every time! you're gonna try to fuck me!!! (i'm sorryy!!! he does!! he tries to every time!) and i know, i'm stupid, for even letting him the first time, but that was like, 2 years agoo!!!!

"im sorry i dont feel the same, i got tired of fighting you off"

arg, these meaningless texts went on forever.....
he says, "i dont want sex, just meaningfull touch."

BULLSHIT! how can you have meaningfull touch with someone who's trying to ward you off like the plague boy! ayi. i dont understand.

it went on and on.
my last texts, were, "no." "no, i'm sorry." jesus.

but i'm home now. and i guess no more haily's for a while (yet again)...
fucking ali.

it'll be wierd if kyle actually goes to colorado...
i know this means nothing to anyone, but i write it just to remind myself of events.
and how things went. and so forth...

sch0olstinks @ 2008-06-19T07:19:00

2008-06-19T12:26:35Z

it's been four weeks now without buying a liter of alcohol. it was something i ALWAYS had on hand. this is a good thing, but i'm getting no positive reinforcement. tell me i'm doing a good job, god damnit. dont get me wrong, i'm still drinking... just not by myself and in the middle of the day for no reason. its not been four weeks since i did something stupid while drunk though. no, i still managae to do that. on only two doubles mind you! maybe thats a good thing too. tolerance going down. anyways...

sch0olstinks @ 2008-05-29T02:18:00

2008-05-29T07:24:38Z

learn to say no, god, fucking, damnit.

i hate jason.
i hate ali.
i hate mark.
i hate that i cant find a decent fucking person in this town.
i hate that i drink so much. so much, that when shit goes bad, i have no one else to blame but myself. sure those guys are fuckers, but i'm stupid for even heading out.

i just dont know how to say, "i DONT want to hang out with you!"
i can only think of so many excuses.

sch0olstinks @ 2008-05-28T21:24:00

2008-05-29T02:28:19Z

my sushi 1/2" plugs are officially for sale!

www.alfareriareyna.etsy.com